13 Things That Should Never Go Near Your Cooch
Want to give your vagina the loving care that it deserves? Make sure these 11 things never go near it.
Overview
If you are the proud owner of a vagina, you want it to be healthy, clean and powerful — basically, an all-around lovely part of your body and a welcoming place for your sex partner. In an effort to make their lady flower more enticing, it has become trendy for women to try putting things in, on or around it. So here's your PSA: Ladies, your cooch is wonderful just the way it is. Don't forget to show it some love, and read on to discover 12 things you should avoid putting anywhere near it.
1. Vaginal Rejuvenation Devices
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is — such is the case with vaginal rejuvenation devices. Manufacturers of the "energy-based" devices, which use radiofrequency or lasers "to destroy and reshape vaginal tissue," claim that their products will do everything from relieving symptoms of menopause to doing away with vaginal dryness and pain during sex, according to a warning issued by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). These devices are commonly found in certain clinics and med spas. Though the devices are approved by the FDA to treat genital warts, they carry major risks when used for "vaginal rejuvenation," including burns, scarring and chronic pain. "These products have serious risks and don't have adequate evidence to support their use for these purposes," FDA Commissioner Scott Gottlieb tweeted. "We are deeply concerned women are being harmed."
2. Coffee
Sure, a cup of java is great way to boost energy and motivation. But if you were nine months pregnant and past your due date, would you ever use hot coffee to prompt a baby out of your womb? That's what some pregnant women are trying. To induce labor, they'll squat over a bowl full of boiling coffee grounds for 20 minutes. They believe the caffeine from the coffee grounds will cause their uterus to contract, and the steam from the hot coffee will loosen up their mucus plug, which can prompt labor. While caffeine can cause muscles to contract, this labor-inducing approach is not advised. As M.D., OB-GYN and president of Sapphire Women's Health Group in New Jersey Donnica Moore told People, "There are no clinical research trials to say whether it works or not. And in pregnancy, you don't want to do any interventions that have not shown to be safe and effective."
Read more: Can Caffeine Induce Labor?
3. Glitter Bombs
Want your "big O" to unleash a spirited, sparkly surprise for your lover? That's what glitter bombs are advertised to do. But this glittery "magical sex dust" isn't so magical for you and your partner. It can disturb vaginal pH, harm good vaginal bacteria and increase the risk for sexually transmitted diseases. Dr. Julie Lemoine, OB-GYN, says, "This sounds like an infection waiting to happen." She explains, "Small pieces of glitter can serve as a focus of infection when left in the vagina. I don't really understand how the bomb 'explodes,' but it seems like it could cause tissue irritation, damage and pain."
Read more: Ladies, Please Don't Put Glitter in Your Vaginas)
4. Oak Galls
If your vagina is a little "roomy," and you don't have the time or patience for Kegels, you may have heard about the recent trend of inserting an oak gall into your vagina to restore its elasticity. An oak gall — also known as a ground-up wasp nest — is a roundish hard ball that results when wasps lay eggs in an oak tree. When you place it into your lady parts, it's supposed to tighten and dry them up. But, according to Dr. Thais Aliabadi, OB-GYN, this is one trend you should stay far away from. "Inserting anything foreign — including ground-up bits of a wasp's nests — can cause irritation, infection and painful vaginal abrasions," she says.
Read more: Wait, Women Are Putting Wasp Nests Up Their Vaginas?
5. Yoni Teas
These tiny bags of mugwort, rosemary and other herbs can be dropped into a pan of hot water beneath an open-seated stool to steam your "yoni" (vaginal area) with the promise of nourishing, detoxing and promoting its health. While the thought of having your cooch curl up with a hot cup of tea sounds comforting, it's actually extremely dangerous. Dr. Thais Aliabadi, OB-GYN, says: "Yoni steaming can cause serious vaginal burn and injury, especially if you're doing it at home, because you can't control the temperature. It can also burn your bladder and rectum." She elaborates, "Post-vaginal childbirth, you can experience cystocele or rectocele — where the supportive tissue between the bladder and vagina or the rectum and vagina can weaken and stretch, allowing the bladder or rectum to bulge into the vagina. So yoni steaming can burn those organs as well."
Listen now: Why America's Obsession With 'Happiness' Is Totally Stressing Us Out
6. Jade Eggs
Gwyneth Paltrow's site Goop praised jade eggs for "harnessing the power of energy work, crystal healing and a Kegel-like physical practice." They're also touted to increase orgasms, hormonal balance and feminine energy. But is walking around with a golf ball-size egg in your vagina really all that? "Under the supervision of a pelvic floor physical therapist, a similar product could be used to aid in pelvic floor strength. Improved pelvic floor function can help with incontinence and painful sex — and therefore, increase sexual pleasure," says Dr. Julie Lemoine, OB-GYN. "But any hormonal or energy change isn't really physiologically plausible." She adds, "If you do have pelvic floor problems and use a weighted device without instruction from a therapist, it could actually cause more problems than benefits."
Read more: How to Use Kegel Balls
7. Yogurt
You know that eating plain yogurt with live cultures of Lactobacillus acidophilus — a natural, "friendly" bacteria — can help prevent yeast infections. But can putting a yogurt-soaked tampon directly into your vagina instantly "cure" a yeast infection? Before you start feeding all-natural yogurt to your peach, consider the consequences. "Inserting tampons in your vagina that are soaked in anything — yogurt, alcohol, coffee — is a bad idea," says Dr. Julie Lemoine, OB-GYN. "The vagina is very vascular and will absorb substances quickly, but it's also a sensitive homeostasis. Introducing new bacteria or causing inflammation can lead to infection."
Read more: Can an Ingredient in Yogurt Actually Make a Yeast Infection Worse?
8. Exfoliants
Grooming your lady garden can leave behind some unsightly ingrown hairs and bumps. Vagacials — a "facial" for your vagina comprised of exfoliating gels and calming masks — claim to eliminate these ingrown hairs and bumps by cleansing and peeling to clean blocked pores. But, according to Dr. Thais Aliabadi, OB-GYN, this beauty treatment may mean bad news: "The skin in that area is extremely sensitive. So any sort of exfoliants or creams on the exterior of your vagina — including hair-removal creams — can cause surface abrasions or an allergic reaction." Your best bet? Save the gels and masks for your face.
Read more: How to Treat Ingrown Hairs in the Pubic Area
9. Makeup Sponges
Those cosmetic sponges you use to blend foundation have been serving another purpose: Some ladies claim that you can shove them into your cooch to have mess-free period sex. According to the trend, you're supposed to insert one or two before sex, then fish them out after the deed. But here's why you can chalk this up to the list of terrible ideas: "When you insert a tampon, there's a string to remind you to take it out. With cosmetic sponges or sea sponges, there's no reminder," says Dr. Thais Aliabadi, OB-GYN. "So if you get distracted and forget to remove the sponge or are unable to remove it because it's lodged too far up in your vagina, it's a source of infection or irritation — and it could lead to toxic shock syndrome."
Read more: 5 Products That Will Make You Ditch Tampons for Good
10. Highlighters
Perhaps you've inspected your lady parts closely and decided that you'd like to regain that "new-cooch glow." Then you discovered The Perfect V's Shades of Very V Luminizer, which promises to highlight, soften, illuminate and "add some extra prettiness to the V." But is this actually good for your it? According to Dr. Thais Aliabadi, who specializes in obstetrics, gynecology and infertility, the answer is no. "Anything that you apply on the exterior around your vagina can cause irritation," she says. "So I would advise against it."
11. Pubic Dyes
Let's face it: The rainbow-colored hair trend has been huge. So it's only natural (well, sort of) that pubes follow suit. From aqua blue to hot pink and more, you have the option of making your peach as vibrant as you want — but just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Although there are dyes that are specially made for the "hair down there," Dr. Thais Aliabadi, OB-GYN, advises: "Just know that you're taking a risk. It's a sensitive area, so any sort of pubic hair dye can still cause irritation."
Read more: What Causes Gray Pubic Hair
12. Rhinestones
If you rock a Brazilian and glitz is your thing, you may be tempted to bling out your lady parts — also known as "vajazzling." But these sparkly crystal adhesive "cooch gems" come with a warning. Dr. Julie Lemoine, OB-GYN, says, "You should be careful with any glue on the outside of the vagina. And definitely don't put anything inside the vagina. Introducing anything that can get left behind can be a source of irritation, odor and infection."
13. Garlic
You've probably heard that garlic has medicinal properties. But would you ever shove cloves of it into your hoo-ha to improve vaginal health and stop a yeast infection? If you're considering it, remember that your vagina is not a secret storage unit for seasonings — especially this particular one. According to Dr. Thais Aliabadi: "Garlic can irritate and even burn the skin of the vagina." For the comfort and health of your cooch, don't be fooled into trying this at-home remedy. If you think you have a yeast infection, see your gynecologist.
Read more: Health Benefits of Garlic Capsules for Women
What Do YOU Think?
Ladies, have you ever tried any of these things? Or have you used any other trending items in or near your cooch? What was the outcome? Share your stories in the comments below!